tonight/today

I'm doing an all nighter with Luke. somehow we are managing to do this on a fortnightly basis. He is such an amazing guy. and such a beautiful person.

Today has been awesome I got asked to be a bridesmaid, and found out im going to go and see U2 and elbow in concert with Jasper. (so excited) plus had rna so always a bonus.

I also found out that my uncle is getting worse.

for those of you who dont know he is currently in hospital dying. I felt quite bad at the fact that previous to tonight I didnt really mind. I know how alwful that is. I mean I havent seen him since I was 10 so I was not really upset. I was more worried about my dad and the rest of my family. 3 people we currently know are on there death beds (sorry its such an alwful expression but I didnt know what else to write) and this sunday its the anniversary of my grandpa's death so emotions are on high anyway.

I asked to pray about it at the end of rna tonight which we did but something jeremy said hit me.

He asked me whether my uncle was a christian and whether anyone was witnessing to him.

my answer was no and I dont know. I feel alwful. this man is going to hell. Its bad enough that he has missed out on such a liberating, whole life by not knowing jesus but this man is dying and is likely to go to hell all because I tell him.

I feel guilty about this. I feel bad. I wonder whether i should drive up to Northampton and talk to this man who is unconsious at the moment. should I go and tell him about the gospel? does he know Jesus loves him? can he make a descision like that while unconsious? If I don't will this be hanging over my head? Has anyone else ever told him?

Tonight in 15 minutes Im driving Penny down to Gatwick airport to put her on a plane for 3 weeks while she goes to morrocco to build bridges and stuff but should i be driving in the opposite direction? north insteed of south. Im so blimbing confused. I leave stuff to the last minute but this is insane. We thought he was going to die on Wednesday. If I don't go and he dies I will feel guilty, If I do I at least know i tried. I know it shouldn't be a factor but my family would murder me if they found me doing that. what the hell should i do? (wrong use of words) Why haven't I spoken to him about it sooner? Why did I never tell him about Jesus?