Relationships

Everyone was waiting for this one Im sure. I hate valentines day. my intire life I have doubted I am loved so when It happens (not if, when see) I hope that they not just have to have one stupid day a year to tell me that I am loved.

I like a boy (alot) Its a bit of a big deal just because I havent liked a boy properly for a very long time. I decided to not get into a relationship with any one as I felt I had to sort myself out a bit first (We are working on it) Why go in guns blazzing without knowing precisely what you want and waste a good friendship? I get serious girl face over this guy and most the time I want to jump on him and kiss him (like 99% of the time) luckily resisting the urges.

So relationships whats the key currently.

I have one friend who is completely loved up and engaged (wooooooo so excited) and another one whose heart was smashed. One where she dumped the guy she is in love with because he wasn't a christian.

God puts people together because they want them to do his work. To rely on each other. keep them accountable, to look after each other and to encourage each other. You should be able to have fun, to cry and to talk about anything a connection so strong that you know when something is off with the other one even a milion miles away.

In the relationship it should be a triangle. you, the other person and god. When speaking to various married people. they said they just knew it was right. They didnt have to pretend they were just them and that was ok. They knew that it was right. sort of like how you have your friends and then you have your friends those people who you can sit in silence with, those people who can tell when your annoyed and who tell you when your being an idiot. only its amplified.

SO I like a boy. I dunno if I want to see were it goes. It makes me sad when im not with him and I act like a girl. He makes me want to be a better person and is such a god given gift. (as just a friend if not more) so do I want this sort of relationship amplified? Am I ready for it? Does he want it? I havent felt this in a long time and to fall so heavy its a big thing. Do I want to let him in to rachels emotional bubble in which no one is allowed in? does he want to come in? do I really know him? am I in the right place? is he in the right place?

It would be easier not to like this person. If it wasnt complicated enough his brother blatenly likes me. Definatly not cool.