AHHHHHHH

I hate text arguments language gets conbobulated and people take things the way they definately were not meant to take them.

as Helen said things have been weird on both parts we have made mistakes because well we are human.

Im not going to say what the arguement was about nor talk about it any more quite simply because I love this girl far too much to let something like this stop me from loving her.

Both are hearts got broken tonight and both of us ended up in tears. funny how we are connected like that.

But If Im honest I would much rather she breaks my heart a million times takes it out on the ground, grates it pours vinegar all over it and stamps on it and makes me cry so hard that I die of dehydration than not have her in my life at all.

So for now, I don't know where I stand. but if Im honest i never do I just go from day to day just doing the best that I can and seeing where I end up.

I hate the fact that I see her once in a bluemoon and when i do usually millions of people are around or its a crisis situation. I hate the fact she lives 4 hours away and I hate the fact we ave to scheld in times to talk. I hate the fact that she is so much smarter than me and has so much more confidence in who she is as a person. I hate that when she walks in a room it lights up. I hate that she is a million times cleverer than me and uses big words. I hate that she is so Beautiful and can get any guy she wants. I hate that she has this whole new life in Bristol and I'm getting left behind (is not fact is just how I feel at present state) I hate that I secretly love all these things.

I love all these things.

I love that she is different from me and she writes on her blog when she is annoyed at me even though she knows I will read it.

I love how bad we are at shopping and I love how random she is at cooking.

I love how when she laughs her eyebrows go up and I love how her hair changes colour every other day.

I love how comfortable she is with herself and i love how she keeps changing and growing as a different person. I love how much braver she is than me and how she takes charge.

I love how we can go to bed at 10 and still be awake giggling about stupid things at 4am. (like hands) I love our history and I love our godly friendship. I love that she is passionate. I love how when i ask her to keep my feet warm she does

i love that she is the first person i can ever remember giving me a hug.

I love that she hates a certain person. and I love her strength. I love what she has done in my life and I love that she guided me to become a christian even though she wasnt herself.

I love her - in the simplist terms. I love her, I am for her and I will support her. i will drive down at 1 in the morning hek I would walk/run (might take me a while longer)