BEWARE!!!!

2 posts in one hour will make up for my lack of posts recently.

Today I had a conversation with one of my friends and I ended up getting angry. (which I am not sure whether or not I have a right too but I couldn't really help it)

Over time Lots of my friends have self harmed. I have even been prone to do it myself but in less graphical ways.

I dont want to make anyone who may or may know of someone that does upset or get moaned at by this blog so please dont. like I said this is just how I feel at the present moment in time.

I have the friend perspective. If any of you do self harm I am not in your shoes and I dont understand how It feels to be you so If any of you do or have considered doing it I dont want you to be upset by what I have written. Please don't leave comments.

I may not know how it feels to do that but I do know how it feels to stand by and watch.

Don't you get how it feels to stand by and watch!!! See more and more scars appear on your body. To watch you get addicted to it, to watch it become part of how you define yourself. Don't you see how that

Im bawling my freaking eyes out here because my heart is broken.

Don't you see how much it hurts us. the people who care about you who sit by and know that when you stop you have to stop for yourself so we sit and listen. who keep your secrets even when it at risk to themselves, Always wondering when are they going to go too deep whether tommorrow morning when we wake up and you won't. We cry for you, pray for you. Beg God to stop you from feeling the pain and lay it on us instead.

Don't you see that it is selfish to do it, Whether or not you believe people love you or not. I freaking do and I cant lose you. I can't. I love you too fraking much. Do you realise what it would do to me. To your parents, to the rest of the people. I won't ask you to do it for the people who cry for you. I won't ask you to do it for me.

But fight. freaking fight. don't just do it for the easy way out. don't just give up. Fight it. Fight the voices in you head. Love exists because you love others. You love your mum, your little sisters and brothers, your friends, your boyfriends, hek you might even love me.

Fight for yourself, for the fact you deserve better, for the fact you have worth. fight for the fact that it doesnt just effect you. fight for the promise of an incredible life with God. Fight for the fact that Jesus went through a 1000 times more pain than we will ever experience for you.

know that self harm is not something you only do its something you do to your friends, to your siblings, to your parents. when you cut, or punch or starve yourself your hurting us too.

now I am going to stop. I have released my anger and I am now going to go and write my third blog of the night.