IT WAS SO GOOD.
I was once again in Awe at the amount of things 12 year olds can teach you and just how unselfish they can be.
Blake and Sam are truely Incredible and are going to Grow up into two very good and cool blokes.
Good Music, Good Food (even if Jasper doesn't agree), Good kids, Good rides, Great day.
I realise this tells very little of our adventures of the day but I just loved it and will take away some fantastic memories. So Thank you everyone that helped make it so special.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Friday, 8 May 2009
AHHHHHHH
I hate text arguments language gets conbobulated and people take things the way they definately were not meant to take them.
as Helen said things have been weird on both parts we have made mistakes because well we are human.
Im not going to say what the arguement was about nor talk about it any more quite simply because I love this girl far too much to let something like this stop me from loving her.
Both are hearts got broken tonight and both of us ended up in tears. funny how we are connected like that.
But If Im honest I would much rather she breaks my heart a million times takes it out on the ground, grates it pours vinegar all over it and stamps on it and makes me cry so hard that I die of dehydration than not have her in my life at all.
So for now, I don't know where I stand. but if Im honest i never do I just go from day to day just doing the best that I can and seeing where I end up.
I hate the fact that I see her once in a bluemoon and when i do usually millions of people are around or its a crisis situation. I hate the fact she lives 4 hours away and I hate the fact we ave to scheld in times to talk. I hate the fact that she is so much smarter than me and has so much more confidence in who she is as a person. I hate that when she walks in a room it lights up. I hate that she is a million times cleverer than me and uses big words. I hate that she is so Beautiful and can get any guy she wants. I hate that she has this whole new life in Bristol and I'm getting left behind (is not fact is just how I feel at present state) I hate that I secretly love all these things.
I love all these things.
I love that she is different from me and she writes on her blog when she is annoyed at me even though she knows I will read it.
I love how bad we are at shopping and I love how random she is at cooking.
I love how when she laughs her eyebrows go up and I love how her hair changes colour every other day.
I love how comfortable she is with herself and i love how she keeps changing and growing as a different person. I love how much braver she is than me and how she takes charge.
I love how we can go to bed at 10 and still be awake giggling about stupid things at 4am. (like hands) I love our history and I love our godly friendship. I love that she is passionate. I love how when i ask her to keep my feet warm she does
i love that she is the first person i can ever remember giving me a hug.
I love that she hates a certain person. and I love her strength. I love what she has done in my life and I love that she guided me to become a christian even though she wasnt herself.
I love her - in the simplist terms. I love her, I am for her and I will support her. i will drive down at 1 in the morning hek I would walk/run (might take me a while longer)
as Helen said things have been weird on both parts we have made mistakes because well we are human.
Im not going to say what the arguement was about nor talk about it any more quite simply because I love this girl far too much to let something like this stop me from loving her.
Both are hearts got broken tonight and both of us ended up in tears. funny how we are connected like that.
But If Im honest I would much rather she breaks my heart a million times takes it out on the ground, grates it pours vinegar all over it and stamps on it and makes me cry so hard that I die of dehydration than not have her in my life at all.
So for now, I don't know where I stand. but if Im honest i never do I just go from day to day just doing the best that I can and seeing where I end up.
I hate the fact that I see her once in a bluemoon and when i do usually millions of people are around or its a crisis situation. I hate the fact she lives 4 hours away and I hate the fact we ave to scheld in times to talk. I hate the fact that she is so much smarter than me and has so much more confidence in who she is as a person. I hate that when she walks in a room it lights up. I hate that she is a million times cleverer than me and uses big words. I hate that she is so Beautiful and can get any guy she wants. I hate that she has this whole new life in Bristol and I'm getting left behind (is not fact is just how I feel at present state) I hate that I secretly love all these things.
I love all these things.
I love that she is different from me and she writes on her blog when she is annoyed at me even though she knows I will read it.
I love how bad we are at shopping and I love how random she is at cooking.
I love how when she laughs her eyebrows go up and I love how her hair changes colour every other day.
I love how comfortable she is with herself and i love how she keeps changing and growing as a different person. I love how much braver she is than me and how she takes charge.
I love how we can go to bed at 10 and still be awake giggling about stupid things at 4am. (like hands) I love our history and I love our godly friendship. I love that she is passionate. I love how when i ask her to keep my feet warm she does
i love that she is the first person i can ever remember giving me a hug.
I love that she hates a certain person. and I love her strength. I love what she has done in my life and I love that she guided me to become a christian even though she wasnt herself.
I love her - in the simplist terms. I love her, I am for her and I will support her. i will drive down at 1 in the morning hek I would walk/run (might take me a while longer)
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Oh
Oh in case you don't know
I GOT IN TO SOUL SURVIVOR GAP YEAR THINGY MAG JIG
yes, the capital letters are a display of my excitment.
I am unsure on whether or not to take it particially down to the fact that it costs £6000 (yep thats a lot) and with my parents financial situation at the moment I do not know whether or not I am being selfish by taking it.
If I get myself into a mess (this is me the chances are pretty high) they wont be able to bail me out. I know they will try because my parents are amazing like that my mum would proberly sell a kidney. If I take it, is that going to mess my parents up more financially.
I'm even unsure whether or not I want to do it or not. soul survivor is huge. chances are if your a young christian in the UK you have heard of it. It does festivals all around the globe. It is this huge organisation. Is that me? One of the things I love about GBC is its quaint little homey atmosphere, It is not huge, Guanteed I dont know everyone but I know enough people to understand the things that go on there.
Soul Survivor is massive like i mean in its 1000. I know every christian makes up the church but is working for a huge organisation me?
I have no idea.
please pray into this for me, so that I work out what to do and that what ever path I take its Gods will.
I GOT IN TO SOUL SURVIVOR GAP YEAR THINGY MAG JIG
yes, the capital letters are a display of my excitment.
I am unsure on whether or not to take it particially down to the fact that it costs £6000 (yep thats a lot) and with my parents financial situation at the moment I do not know whether or not I am being selfish by taking it.
If I get myself into a mess (this is me the chances are pretty high) they wont be able to bail me out. I know they will try because my parents are amazing like that my mum would proberly sell a kidney. If I take it, is that going to mess my parents up more financially.
I'm even unsure whether or not I want to do it or not. soul survivor is huge. chances are if your a young christian in the UK you have heard of it. It does festivals all around the globe. It is this huge organisation. Is that me? One of the things I love about GBC is its quaint little homey atmosphere, It is not huge, Guanteed I dont know everyone but I know enough people to understand the things that go on there.
Soul Survivor is massive like i mean in its 1000. I know every christian makes up the church but is working for a huge organisation me?
I have no idea.
please pray into this for me, so that I work out what to do and that what ever path I take its Gods will.
I told you so
Im all better now.
Im happy I just read Roseannas blog and that made me happy.
God is good, people aren't always. things go wrong and opinions change. and people can break your heart, the devil can make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. you get angry at the state of it and then it makes you punch walls.
What happened to me this past week and a bit (as i realised) I didnt exactly give a great deal of infomation. was the devil got into my head and started playing rugby in it.
My uncle eventually died, My brother is heartbroken.
I realise that bussinesses crumble and friends lie, Families insult and homeless people have rubbish thrown at them.
I realised than loneliness is an epidemic and proberly one of the most dangerous plagues in the world. and that people surprise you. and sin is easier than doing whats right.
(I would like to point out I always knew such things they all just appeared to me at the wrong point)
The devil got into my head and played rugby.
Then, a good friend helped me realise I wasn't alone. Another reminded me that the bussiness is all materialistic. My brother and me had a conversation about God and the whole freewill/deterministic thing.
The family issues surrounding my uncle and what is going on there are slowly but surely resolving (well my nan is actually talking to that side of the family now)
The Devil played rugby in my head, nnd God turned the sprinkler system on and washed him of the pitch
Im happy I just read Roseannas blog and that made me happy.
God is good, people aren't always. things go wrong and opinions change. and people can break your heart, the devil can make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. you get angry at the state of it and then it makes you punch walls.
What happened to me this past week and a bit (as i realised) I didnt exactly give a great deal of infomation. was the devil got into my head and started playing rugby in it.
My uncle eventually died, My brother is heartbroken.
I realise that bussinesses crumble and friends lie, Families insult and homeless people have rubbish thrown at them.
I realised than loneliness is an epidemic and proberly one of the most dangerous plagues in the world. and that people surprise you. and sin is easier than doing whats right.
(I would like to point out I always knew such things they all just appeared to me at the wrong point)
The devil got into my head and played rugby.
Then, a good friend helped me realise I wasn't alone. Another reminded me that the bussiness is all materialistic. My brother and me had a conversation about God and the whole freewill/deterministic thing.
The family issues surrounding my uncle and what is going on there are slowly but surely resolving (well my nan is actually talking to that side of the family now)
The Devil played rugby in my head, nnd God turned the sprinkler system on and washed him of the pitch
Monday, 20 April 2009
Yesterday
No surprisingly It isn't the beatles lyrics. (sorry)
Yesterday I woke up with the feeling that something was going to happen to change my life as i knew it.
I was right.
It wasnt just one thing but the whole day. It was filled with heartbreaking little moments. I cried myself to sleep last night due to everything. I got up early and punched a wall (sorry charlie)
I love God that is never going to change and i trust him but damn my stupid human mind. Im so mad at him, my heart is completely broken. Im mad!!! All these people I care about are either screwed up (no offense) or in pain. I'm annoyed at myself more than i am with God I just want to point the finger. Great now i have come to that revelation Im crying more. Im completely useless.
I know good will come. I know it will but everything is such a mess.
(I would like to note my mood will proberly change tommorrow I have just had a couple of rough days. Gods in it. Its just my own stupid mind. everything will be ok quite simply because goodness still exists)
Yesterday I woke up with the feeling that something was going to happen to change my life as i knew it.
I was right.
It wasnt just one thing but the whole day. It was filled with heartbreaking little moments. I cried myself to sleep last night due to everything. I got up early and punched a wall (sorry charlie)
I love God that is never going to change and i trust him but damn my stupid human mind. Im so mad at him, my heart is completely broken. Im mad!!! All these people I care about are either screwed up (no offense) or in pain. I'm annoyed at myself more than i am with God I just want to point the finger. Great now i have come to that revelation Im crying more. Im completely useless.
I know good will come. I know it will but everything is such a mess.
(I would like to note my mood will proberly change tommorrow I have just had a couple of rough days. Gods in it. Its just my own stupid mind. everything will be ok quite simply because goodness still exists)
Thursday, 16 April 2009
I am having a lovely week
i have decided to through away seriousness for a moment and talk about how much of a lovely time I am having. I am incredibly blessed. its not perfect but Im happy. short and sweet
love you all xx
love you all xx
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Sunday servcie
Last Sunday was awesome. The creative metaphoric visuals that were used in the service and how so many age groups involved was amazing.
God really spoke to me today. twicw actually the first one was int he service itself. I have blogged recently about a few of the things that have been on my mind, my family, finances. I have kept most of it private just purely down to that I don't want to bore anyone and I am more of a suffer in silence type. God told me that everything was going to be ok. He gave me such a calm, undeniable peace in my heart, i can lose everything I have ever known but it is all in his hands. I am going to be ok. I might not have my perfect world (werid that I am on the brink of losing it all and it is now I realise how perfect it is) Im going to be ok.
The next thing is really difficult to explain so I am sorry if it becomes an incoherant mess. I have always felt like there was something wrong with me like I was different in some way. like there was something that wasn't quite right. I was talking to God about this and he told me that this thing was a good something. it wasn't something that was a hinderance or a problem it wasn't a bad thing. it makes me unique it makes me beautiful.
Our God is amazing wooooo
God really spoke to me today. twicw actually the first one was int he service itself. I have blogged recently about a few of the things that have been on my mind, my family, finances. I have kept most of it private just purely down to that I don't want to bore anyone and I am more of a suffer in silence type. God told me that everything was going to be ok. He gave me such a calm, undeniable peace in my heart, i can lose everything I have ever known but it is all in his hands. I am going to be ok. I might not have my perfect world (werid that I am on the brink of losing it all and it is now I realise how perfect it is) Im going to be ok.
The next thing is really difficult to explain so I am sorry if it becomes an incoherant mess. I have always felt like there was something wrong with me like I was different in some way. like there was something that wasn't quite right. I was talking to God about this and he told me that this thing was a good something. it wasn't something that was a hinderance or a problem it wasn't a bad thing. it makes me unique it makes me beautiful.
Our God is amazing wooooo
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